Lessons

"Well, Samantha Gene Brady, what have you learned from this latest mess you've created?" bellowed a loud voice from a handsome, larger-than-life figure wearing white robes and sitting at a huge judge's bench that was so white it shimmered.

Meekly, Sami stared up at the man speaking to her, but found it hard to answer his question. She knew this could be her only chance at escaping Hell, but the words stuck in her throat. She grimaced as if she were in pain and stammered along, "Uh . . . oh . . . well . . ."

"Is that all you have to say for yourself, young lady? You have some ‘splainin' to do. Ha ha! I crack myself up with that one all the time," the heavenly figure laughed.

The bad imitation worked to stifle some of the pressure, and Sami was finally able to give voice to her thoughts. "Well, sir, I have learned that love is precious. And that I have to work harder to hang onto it. I must not have tried hard enough with Austin. And again, I fell short with Brandon. I try so hard to hang on, but all of my efforts never amount to much, as the love always slips away in the end. That, sir, is what I have learned."

"Then you have learned nothing!" the white-clad figure roared.

"What do you mean?" a surprised Sami stammered. "What else was there to learn? All of my life, I have worked hard to keep those who love me close and to make them continue loving me. And all of my life, it has never been enough. I tried with Mom. When I saw her cheating on my father, I kept that secret. It was hard, but I didn't tell anyone. I knew if people found out, she would leave us and the love would stop. I was right. She did leave.

"And I tried to protect daddy by giving Belle away. And I didn't tell him about the rape. I knew the truth that Belle was John's and that I had been hurt in that way would make him leave me. I was right. He left before even learning of the rape. Just the bad news that I held secret about Belle was enough to make him flee. And when he learned of the rape, he didn't come back.

"I tried to make Austin love me. I knew if he learned the things I had done, he would also walk away. I knew when he told me he loved me, that this love was conditional and dependent upon my good behavior. So I ran around desperately trying to keep him from learning the things I had done to make him love me. In the end, as before, my efforts did not pay off, and Austin also walked away.

"I thought things were different with Brandon. At one time he knew me. He really knew me. But then he forgot me. Like Austin, he put me in some kind of mold and expected me to stay there. When I couldn't, he cheated on me. I had to do something. I had to work hard to protect our life together. But no matter what I did or how hard I worked, nothing could have saved our relationship. His love for me was also conditional. As long as I played by his rules, he could love me and stay with me. But when I broke the rules in my own fashion, he deserted me. Like the others, he didn't see that I was just working to save what was so precious to me . . . Our love."

Sami's speech drained her of her energy, and she fell to her knees on a floor that looked as if dry ice were everywhere.

The man at the bench spoke gently as his gigantic form bent down to help her to her feet. "After all of this, Samantha, after all this, you still think what needs to be learned is that you should work harder? Haven't you worked hard enough?" Sami was back on her feet and staring at his handsome face as he continued talking. "Haven't you tried everything there is to try? Aren't the secrets too hard to bear? Is the love, once gotten, really worth the work? Did those two men really deserve that much effort? Was their love going to be loyal to you for the long term no matter the effort you gave?"

Sami pondered these questions before replying. "What then, what should I have learned?"

"Just think about it, young Samantha. From your life, what is truly to be gained? Compare the love you have lost to the love of your son. What is the difference?"

"Well, sir, that's an easy question. Will loves me unconditionally. He knows the things I've done and loves me anyway. I don't have to work at keeping secrets and plotting my next move to keep him from leaving me."

"And?" he prodded.

"And, well, I guess the point is that I don't have to try with him. He just loves me."

The man smiled tenderly down at Sami and nodded, "Exactly, Samantha Gene Brady. You don't have to try to make him love you; he just does. That is the way with love. Austin and Brandon were not the men for you. And your parents are messed up in their thinking and behaving. You haven't exactly had great role models, I know. Really, just between you and me, they need to see a shrink, and it should be a real professional who knows what he's doing," he winked. "Your parents don't always know best, but they do love you. They may leave; but they always come back, don't they?"

"Well, yes, I guess they do," Sami admitted.

"So now, tell me what you have learned."

"I have learned," said Sami with added confidence and an acquired comfort with the figure's presence, "that I shouldn't have to work so hard for love. I think I am done searching for it. I am sure it will find me if I stop worrying so much about it."

"That's great," he said. "And that last part, you came up with all on your own. I'm proud of you Samantha Gene Brady." He caressed the large book in front of him and said, "There may be room for your name in it someday after all."

"Someday?" Sami brightened. "Then I get another chance."

"Yes, I will send you back now. But you will not be able to talk for a while. I think it is important that you use this time to listen. You may find what you have long-sought sooner than you think."

The dry ice rose around her. Soon, the judge's bench as well as the man seated there quietly disappeared.

She felt someone holding her hand, and she heard a voice pleading with her to wake up. "Please, Sami, you have to come back to us. Will needs you. We all want you to come back."

Sami opened her eyes to find Lucas sitting by her bed, holding her hand, and urging her to wake up.

The End